Secrets Revealed Alternate version
by Emara88
Summary: My own version of the scene when Akkarin and Sonea discover their feelings for each other. Changes point of view half way through from Sonea to Akkarin. This story belongs to Trudi Canavan.


Black Magician

Black Magician

My own version of Akkarin and Sonea discovering their mutual feelings. I absolutely adored Trudi's, but thought it'd be fun just to experiment. Add a little more steam perhaps :P

The sun had begun to dip back into the horizon by the time they set out once again. Sonea sighed, looking resignedly up at the jagged peaks of the wasteland winding before them. They needed more rest. _He_ needed more rest. For the fourth time in a row, Akkarin had allowed himself little sleep before he took over the watch from her.

Sonea frowned as she looked up at him. He was crouched near a rocky ledge, scanning the valley behind them for any signs of the Ichani. His dark eyes bore into the distance. She half smiled as she remembered how she used to be so frightened of that stare, but that seemed like such a long time ago now. His expression was haggard, the dark circles under his eyes growing deeper every day. Sonea began to clamber up the slope towards him, making soft clicking noises on the rocks with her boots.

"I've lost sight of the Ichani." He murmured as she approached.

"Does that mean he's further behind now?"

"Perhaps," he replied, glancing down at her, "Or perhaps he's closer. If he was only a couple of hours behind us, he'd be lost in that crevice of rocks over there."

Sonea looked over to where he pointed. She shivered. So close.

Then she noticed that Akkarin had started moving along the jagged edge and she hurried to catch up with him.

They walked in silence all night, making their way slowly through the unrelenting landscape. Sonea's legs grew tired and it was all she could do to keep from calling out to him to stop.

It must have been very early in the morning by the time she saw him stop ahead of her. She could only see the outline of his shadow; it was still too dark to make out anything else. Sonea sighed with relief as she reached his side. Then she gave a small gasp as she noticed a valley stretching before them. Despite the darkness, she could still make out the shape of many trees stretching away on either side of a long, snaking river.

"The Krikara river," Akkarin murmured, "If we follow it, it will lead us to the South Pass."

She noticed the strain in his voice and looked up at him, narrowing her eyes to see his faced in the shadows.

"Well, if we're going to be sheltered for a while in those trees, then I think we had better get some rest."

Akkarin didn't reply, but instead turned to face her, placing his hands gently on her shoulders. Sonea sensed the disk of magic beneath her feet moments before he lifted them up over the rim of the cliff and down into the valley.

It didn't take long for them to find a sheltered cove in the rock walls of the cliff. It almost formed a cave, but Sonea was glad to note that the grass underfoot would make a lot of difference after sleeping on rock for so long.

After they had settled in to the cozy spot, Sonea use a little healing magic to chase away her weariness, before holding out her hands for Akkarin. She didn't have to wait long. He leaned forward and linked his fingers through her own. Ignoring the small skip she felt at the contact, she sent a steady stream of energy into him, stopping at just the right moment to leave her with enough. He withdrew and remained silent for a few minutes, ignoring the bed he had fashioned for himself on one side of the space.

"I'm sorry Sonea," he began, his voice almost a whisper. Soneo stilled, shocked at his sudden words. For a moment she thought he wouldn't continue. But then he seemed to struggle with himself and spoke once more.

"I'm sorry you had to go through any of this."

"It's nothing," she tried to joke, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, "I break the laws of the allied lands all the time."

She sensed rather than saw his familiar half smile curl at his lips. Then he sobered.

"I regret teaching you black magic. I regret allowing the other novices to torment you. I regret separating you from Rothen…"

She didn't answer. He paused.

"It was necessary."

Sonea felt her heart twist with pity. What guilt he must have suffered through it all.

"I know. I understand"

"You didn't understand then," he said wryly, "You truly hated me."

"That's true. I don't anymore. I must be getting soft."

She heard him chuckle softly, then he finally moved over to the bed he'd made and lay down. It wasn't long before she heard his breathing slow to the deep rhythm of sleep.

Her heart swelled with emotion at his apology. Looking over to where he slept, she examined his features illuminated by the setting moonlight. His jaw had begun to form a beard. It might not look too bad, she mused. And she could certainly admire the way his broad chest moved up and down steadily in his sleep. She shook her head and forced herself to look away. His words had been nothing more than an apology designed to alleviate his own guilt, nothing more. Scolding herself for being such a fool, she forced her thoughts away from him. Until she heard a soft growling noise coming from his lips. She winced as it echoed around the valley. Hoping it would stop, she tried to ignore it. Then it happened again. And again, this time louder. Sonea grimaced.

Perhaps she would have to wake him…

Akkarin felt his senses calling out in panic as the nightmare closed in on him. He could hear screams, calling his name, begging Dakova for mercy. Then he heard another voice.

"Akkarin…?"

He stilled. Then as he felt a hand meet his barrier he blasted the intruder with a powerful forcestrike. Then he heard a familiar voice.

"Ow!"

His eyes shot open in surprise and horror. Sonea lay a short distance away, her face flat on the ground, unmoving. She must have rebounded off the rock ledge behind her. Akkarin rushed over, fearful of what he might have done. As gently as he could, he turned her over onto her back. He gazed down at her in shock, cursing himself.

"Are you hurt?"

She examined herself.

"No, just bruised, I think."

Akkarin sighed with relief. It was another thing to add to the growing list of ways he had hurt her the past year. She blinked up at him, as if still dazed. He tried not to smile. She was certainly someone to be reckoned with, and not easily defeated. With pride he remembered the way she had looked when she killed the Ichani; her face set with determination. Then he remembered her expression afterwards and he looked at her with tenderness. So strong and yet…so soft…

Even now he could see, as the sun began to dapple through the trees from the line of the horizon; a certain softness in her expression. Was it her expression? Maybe he was just focusing on her skin, the way it curved invitingly down her neck and collarbone into the folds of her clothing. It took all his strength not to reach out and run his fingers along her jaw.

Then he stilled as he realized what had just happened. She had seen him at his weakest, in the depths of a nightmare. Was that why she had woken him? Out of concern? Or was it something else? Something he had dared to hope for…

He pushed this out of his mind in case she read it from his face. He forced a look of cold dignity. If he revealed his increasing desires, he knew with bitter certainty that she would react with horror and disgust. He was her guardian after all, and had hardly done anything to engender trust, let alone…

He frowned.

"Why did you wake me?"

She glanced down at his hands, which still rested on her light frame. He was dismayed to see they were still shaking.

"You were dreaming. A nightmare…"

So that was why she woke him. He felt his heart pound and the blood rush through the veins at the pleasing thought of her concern for him. Then a nagging irritation sneaked up on him. He didn't want her pity.

"I am used to them Sonea. They are no reason to wake me."

He removed his hands from her shoulders and went to stand.

"You were making a lot of noise."

Akkarin cursed silently to himself. He was a fool. The sooner he stopped these feelings that clouded his sense, the better. Of course she wasn't concerned.

He paused and straightened.

"Go to sleep Sonea. I will take the first watch."

She stood then and grabbed his arm, pulling him around to face her. He was alarmed at the forceful touch, and saw anger in her eyes.

"No. You've barely slept at all since we arrived here. If you don't allow yourself some rest you'll run yourself haggard."

He stayed silent, content just to watch her. Her lips were drawn into an almost defiant pout, accentuating their curves, and her eyes sparkled with obstinacy. As he watched, she slowly raised one eyebrow in expectation. He sighed and shook his head.

"It's not that easy…"

His voice was soft, weak. Expecting some biting retort, Akkarin was surprised by her silence. He allowed his eyes to flicker back to hers. Her expression had changed suddenly to a mixture of confusion and something else. Tenderness. She had never been so beautiful, especially as the rays of the dawning sun caught the shine of her hair. He felt a strong rush of desire. He wanted to take her in his arms and claim her lips. He wanted to feel for himself the curves that were barely hidden by the worn clothes she wore. He wanted to feel her respond to him.

As if she sensed that his thoughts had wandered, and with an expression of confusion now on her face, Sonea reached out and placed her hand gently on his arm. At first he was shocked by the touch and didn't know what to do. Then, when he felt a light presence at the edge of his mind he realized with an unpleasant jolt that she had sought to find out what had caught his attention, probably thinking it to be something much more distant.

He pulled away and took a step backwards, horrified.

If she had connected to his mind, if only for a moment, surely she would have sensed the overwhelming desire that had coursed through his body.

Akkarin backed against the wall. Her expression was one of shock, of disbelief. He tried to mask his emotions, appear indifferent, so that he may confuse her. Trick her into thinking she had imagined it.

She took a step towards him. He frowned at her. Why wasn't she turning and running away from him. He was her guardian; the evil black magician who had taken her hostage. She should be disgusted. So why was she gazing up at him with those deep brown eyes. In one fluid movement she reached her hand up to his face. He felt her fingers run softly around to the back of his head and intertwine themselves in his hair. The moment that followed seemed to last forever as she stood so close to him, their breaths falling in ragged gasps onto each others faces. Then, much faster, her grip became firm and she pulled him down onto her lips. Their mouths pressed together, searing with heat and unmistakable desire. He grabbed her waist and pressed her closer to him, as if he couldn't get enough. He felt her mouth open to him and she gave a soft moan. With a rush of understanding, he realized all this time his feelings had been reciprocated. Then he remembered where they were, and who they were, and an unpleasant chill settled upon him. There were so many reasons why this couldn't happen. Reasons he had used to smother his desire all this time.

With great reluctance he pulled his lips of her own, gently pushing her away form him. She looked up into his eyes, hurt by his dismissal. Then her expression grew wary, as if she was unsure of what they had just done.

"We have to stop this," he was angry at himself to discover his voice came out in a husky whisper. If only he could stop his body betraying him.

"Why?" she asked, confused, "we both feel…"

"Yes," he admitted, "But there is more to consider."

"Like what?"

He managed to put some distance between them.

"It would not be fair to you. I am twelve…no thirteen years your senior."

"That's true," she replied slowly, "But women from the houses are married to older men all the time. Much older men."

He felt a trace of control leave him as she so easily dismissed his first excuse.

"I am your guardian," he said with more severity than he would have liked. Sonea didn't seem phased however.

"Not any more."

Akkarin frowned, grabbing for something, anything else. At the same time he hated himself for trying to push her away. She would be hurt. Hell, he would be hurt; he'd thought of nothing else but this for days now. But there was more to consider, especially with a war about to be forced upon them.

"The guild would not approve."

"You mean the same guild that exiled us for using forbidden magic? I hardly think they could be more scandalized than they already are."

He almost caved when he saw the soft smile that curled her lips. The next moment it was gone.

"Nothing can be the same, Akkarin…" he felt a slight jolt of surprise and pleasure when he heard his name fall from her lips. It seemed so much more intimate than High Lord. But then, she could hardly call him that anymore. "We are black magicians now. Everything has changed."

Akkarin flinched.

"I should never have taught you. It was wrong, I…I was…"

She interrupted him,

"I chose to learn black magic," Sonea narrowed her eyes, "and it wasn't a choice I made for your sake."

"But I still could have…"

"No!" Sonea sighed and turned away. "It doesn't matter anymore."

It seemed as if she had given up. He saw her whole body tense up, and after so long together he could read what this small movement meant. She was building up that wall around herself she'd used for so long for protection. From Fergun, from Regin, from him…

All his resolve melted away at that movement. It was too late to stop how he felt.

Without a word Akkarin forcefully grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. A second after her face registered shock he pressed his lips to hers. He closed the small gap between their bodies until he could feel her heat against him, feel the pounding of her heart on his chest. As her shock wore off, Sonea deepened the kiss. Before either of them realized it, their movements had become desperate. Akkarin felt himself push her forward as they came up for a couple of seconds of air, and the next moment he felt a jolt as he pressed her against the rock wall. He didn't know if he was being too rough with her, and a part of him didn't care. It was almost too much to be this close to her after so long at a distance. When her back hit the wall she moaned, but rather than pull away from him, as he feared, she raked her hands down his back, causing him to shiver. He drew away from her mouth, his lips skimming across her cheek to nuzzle at her neck, moving down to her collar bone.

"What happened to all your excuses?" she gasped as he assaulted the base of her throat with his mouth.

He smiled against her skin, drawing back to return the mischievous glint in her eye.

"It doesn't matter," he growled into her ear, "I started to fail that test the night you killed the Ichani woman."

He saw the surprise in her eyes and chuckled, his mouth once more returning to claim hers, as all thoughts of the Ichani and the guild were forgotten.


End file.
